You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
