Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
