Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
