A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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