the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
