Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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