one might say we're banned from that church
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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