its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
