How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
