whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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