big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
