New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize