Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
