That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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