There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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