Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
