The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
People in love make me want to vomit
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
