He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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