i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
