Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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