Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
