I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
