I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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