i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She's the barista slut.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
