Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
did you just send me my own nude
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
