i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
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He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
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I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize