I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
