Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
