; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
