I must be too annoying 4 u.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
do nipples grow back?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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