Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
