It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
