I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
