so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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