I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
