and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
