The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
