Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
