he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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