I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
