I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
The best revenge is premature balding
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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