well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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