I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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