I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
