Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
