That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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