i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
