Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
