hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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