i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
