you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
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