i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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