And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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