what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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