We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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