I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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