Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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