Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
