It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
