The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize