Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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