I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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